Sin
by spero spiro
Summary: [I would have played the part to the absolute, bitter end if everyone hadn’t already known it was just a charade.] Based on ‘I Write Sins, Not Tradgedies’ by Panic! At The Disco. RikuSora hints


**Sins**

**Note: I'm aware that there's at least one of these stories floating out in the world, and within the fandom. With the fame that Panic! At The Disco is picking up, it's hard to write a song-inspired story with one of their songs that hasn't already been done. However, I am writing this entirely by request of my older sister (who has recently acquired a rabid-like love for Riku and Sora). This story has a rather strong anti-Kairi vibe, something I usually avoid, even though I don't particularly like Kairi. I'll ask you to forgive me for that, and perhaps even the cliché nature of this story, with all things considered. Please read this with an open mind, and enjoy reading! **

**Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own the characters borrowed in this story. Sora, Riku, Kairi, all the Final Fantasy characters, and all the Disney characters belong together as part of the Kingdom Hearts franchise, which I don't own. Also, the song "I Write Sins, Not Tradgedies sic" is definitely not mine. Please, don't sue.**

**Description: I would have played the part to the absolute, bitter end if everyone hadn't already known it was just a charade. Based on 'I Write Sins, Not Tradgedies' by Panic! At The Disco. Riku/Sora**

"_It's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality."—Panic! At The Disco, "I Write Sins, Not Tradgedies"_

From the empty wooden pew where I was sitting, the whole world was dizzying. _C'mon, breathe,_ I told myself, even while burying my face in my hands and constricting my ability to breathe more than my nerves were. The church was humming with the organ player warming up on the giant instrument, and the priest flipping through his bible, though he already knew all the words to the ceremony by heart. I picked idly at the pink rose pinned to my tuxedo, neither of which I'd picked out. I felt ridiculous enough dressed up, but there I was, dressed up and ready to play the perfect part.

The buzzing of voices outside the doors of the chapel itself told me that the bride—_my_ bride—had just arrived. I took in a long, breath and heard it hiss in the air around me. Was the chapel going to be this cold during the ceremony, or was that just the sick feeling of my heart sinking through the floor? I felt my stomach turn again. Weddings were supposed to be joyous occasions. I was supposed to have a few butterflies, not a full-fledged wave of nausea.

I stood up and started pacing again, feeling the nausea intensify. I rubbed my fingers over my temples, trying to alleviate the headache pounding in my skull. Why was I doing this? There was no reason to. I had every reason to just walk away, and it would make me seem like so much less of a fool. Everyone knew. _Everyone_ knew that this was just playing pretend that everything was okay. I took a shaky breath.

"It's going to be such a beautiful wedding!" The feminine words drifted out of a nearby room, where the door was wide open. Curious, and with nothing more to do, I wandered to the door, and stood just outside, able to see one of Kairi's bridesmaids draped over a chair, and a tall glass of something mysterious in her hand. I couldn't quite see who she was talking to, but she wasn't finished talking.

"It's so beautiful. It's such a shame it's all just a sham…" Her laugh was tinkling, sweet, and it burned away at my heart. "All just a façade, and the poor groom. You know Sora, don't you?" She was dangling that stupid glass and had no idea that I was _right there_. "I don't think he knows, but he's so silly. He probably has no idea what the bride's been doing behind his back for _years_." She leaned forward to whoever she was talking to and her voice lowered, but not enough so that I couldn't hear her.

"See, Kairi's had at least five other men in her life in the past few years… She's a _whore_, can you believe it?" She was laughing again, and I felt my heart burning up. "And Sora's going to marry her, and she's not going to stop, but she'll have it all."

Like I said, _everyone_ knew. Even me. I was on fire inside in fury that she thought I didn't know. I could destroy the Heartless forever, and take Organization XIII, and Maleficent and her goonies, and Xehanort's Heartless and Nobody, and his Memory. I could do all of that, and be Master of the Keyblades, and save all the worlds, and I was supposed to be completely ignorant that my bride-to-be was going around behind my back and fucking everything that had two legs? Please. I snapped.

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?" I growled and slammed the door with more force than maybe I'd intended, because a long crack slithered its way up the center of the door. I would have played the part to the absolute, bitter end if everyone hadn't already known it was just a charade.

I stalked out of the chapel and down a long hallway that led to the reception hall. I brushed past Tidus, who gave me a strange look and called after me. "Forty five minutes 'til the ceremony starts, Sora!"

"Go to hell." I called back monotonously, and strolled into the huge room.

I settled into one of the chairs at the main table. Waiters were already bustling around, setting out plates and glasses and silverware. I picked up a shining silver fork and played with the prongs. I loosened the bowtie around my neck and threw it on the table, shaking in anger and shame and horror at what I had been planning on doing. Of course I _knew_ what Kairi had been doing for years. I had overlooked it and kept going, because I loved her. And it was then that something struck me: I was doing this for something that wasn't there anymore.

I searched my whole heart and soul and mind and being for any fiber of the love I'd had for Kairi and came back empty-handed. _I didn't love her anymore_. I wondered why Kairi was doing it… For what? Being married to the hero of the universe? When was the last time Kairi had loved me?

I stood up, knocking over my chair and stumbled to the table, where the gigantic cake sat now purposelessly. I fumbled for a glass and grabbed one of the bottles of champagne. I poured it recklessly into the glass.

"Here's to what never was." I toasted the air, the organ that was still warming up, and the waiters that passed by me without a care. I tore off that stupid flower and threw it onto the floor, where it lay as crumpled and wilted as my love for Kairi. The flower already had brown spots on its tips. It was already dead, just holding onto the image of life long enough to get through this ceremony. Too bad. Now it wouldn't even make it through that. I took a long, gratified drink from the champagne glass and raised it again.

"Here's to one more saved marriage. Now save it." I was laughing, and I didn't even understand why. I drank more, and when the glass was empty, I just filled it up again and again and again. All the while, I hoped somebody would come save _me_ for once.

Someone in a fuzzy tuxedo approached me. I thought maybe it was a waiter. Kairi had wanted them all wearing tuxedos too.

"No beef, sir. Just the… the… Fuck it. Don't want anything. Not coming." I slurred and found myself being shaken violently. "No need to get upset… I… just… can't marry the bride."

"Sora." Very suddenly, with that word, everything was so much clearer and I was staring into the eyes of my best man. My best friend. "Sora, the wedding is supposed to be starting now. Everyone's been looking for you." Maybe it was just me, but was his voice a little… sad? But, then again, now that I thought about it, hadn't Riku sounded really sad whenever the wedding came up? I hadn't been paying attention.

I looked away and took another drink. "I'm not going. Tell them to go on without me."

"You can't _not_ go to your wedding, Sora. It can't happen without a groom." Riku looked down and picked up the flower that I'd tossed on the floor. He pressed it in my hand, and I dropped it like a hot coal.

"Kairi's got plenty to choose from. It's not going to be me." I closed my eyes and drained the glass again, reaching over to refill the glass.

Riku seized the bottle from me, looked in it, and then at me. "You're drunk…" He started laughing. "Sora, you have got to be the only man alive who can get completely wasted on a single bottle of champagne." He picked up a glass, poured some for himself, and drained the glass in a single swig.

"I'm not going, Riku." I told him, trying for my speech to be as clear as possible.

"What happened?" He looked at me with curious and almost relieved eyes.

"I don't love her anymore."

"You know, then?"

I smiled wryly. "I always did."

He looked away again and refilled his glass. "I thought so."

"Riku?" The question had always burned at me, and now… well. I wanted to know.

"Yeah?"

"Did you and Kairi ever… you know…? Did she…?" I stared at the ground. It was such an awful question.

"No, Sora. Not that she didn't try, but… you know I'm your best friend. You mean more to me than she ever could." He leaned over and punched my shoulder. "We were together a long time before she ever came around."

I looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah." I felt a lot lighter than I had in a long time, and I could hear the frantic sounds of people searching for me. I'd always heard that the show must go on, but this was one show I couldn't play in anymore. "What about the wedding?"

"Do you want to go?"

"I can't, Riku."

"Good." And he smiled at me, and stood straight. "Want to get out of here?"

I nodded and dropped my glass onto the table. "Let's get the hell out of here." I started for the back door. Heavy footsteps behind me told me that Riku was following. And when we were making a dash for his car in the parking lot of the church, we were laughing. The fire alarm was screeching behind us, like Riku's tires when we tore out of the parking lot, and the grin on my face wasn't fake, and I didn't care that I'd just left Kairi at the altar, because my mind wasn't on the fake wedding.

And when I looked at Riku, I felt something stir inside me, and I felt like I was coming alive again.

**End**


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